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Murdered by My Boyfriend screening – improving our response to domestic abuse

14 February 2023

As part of our journey to achieve Domestic Abuse Housing Alliance (DAHA) accreditation and to strengthen the Torus group’s response to domestic abuse across the organisation, this month to create awareness around coercive control and how quickly high-risk abuse can escalate, we held our first special screening for Torus colleagues of the BBC’s short film, Murdered by My Boyfriend.

Murdered by My Boyfriend is a fact-based drama, telling the story of what happens to a teenage girl when she falls in love with the wrong man, a charmer who ends up dominating every aspect of her life and how she becomes the victim of domestic abuse.

Torus Domestic Abuse Service Team Leader, Anna Lock, said:

“This is the first time we have tried something like this, and we wanted creativity in how we create awareness around this topic and offer the opportunity for discussion and reflection afterwards.

"It is important to demystify questions such as ‘Why don’t they just leave?’ and understand the barriers victims have in accessing support and navigating their own safety in high-risk situations.

"By understating that that people learn in different ways and showing this drama based on a true story, highlights many issues that we would struggle to discuss in the same amount of time.”

The 13 attendees, from our customer-facing teams, including Neighbourhoods, Allocations and Lettings, Tenancy Sustainment and Safer Estates all recommend the session to other colleagues and gave the following feedback on the screening and subsequent discussion and learning.

“The film was heart-breaking but understanding domestic abuse from an insiders views helps with empathy.”

“I found it quite overwhelming, it was a traumatic watch, but it will help me be more compassionate and look for more signs.”

“I was shocked and saddened. But I will now listen and observe more and never underestimate what I am told.”

“It will make me more understanding on why some people won’t leave their partner.”

“It made me sad, shocked, angry and emotional. I am determined to develop my skills with ongoing development.”

“It was eye opening and powerful. It made me understand it from the point of view of the victim.”

Further screenings are planned, including offering the opportunity to attend the screening to different teams across Torus. As well as screenings of Murdered by My Father, which tells the story of ‘honour’ abuse within a family.

Torus has considerable experience in supporting the victims of domestic abuse so if you or someone you know is affected by abuse, don’t suffer in silence. An experienced and specialist team is available to help. Find out more about domestic abuse support here.

The film can be found on BBC iPlayer.

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